This is old news, but that won’t stop me from complaining about it.
This weekend, I wanted to download and play the exemplary classic arcade beat ’em up The Simpsons (1991) and punch, kick and skateboard my way through its nostalgic levels with my old man visiting. Unfortunately, the arcane mysteries of corporate monstrosities have proverbially dashed my dreams into a thousand pieces.
When I first saw this game was coming to the PlayStation Network, sure, I was excited. I can remember popping token after token into this incredibly fun side-scroller in my local Chuck E. Cheese growing up. This was before Chuck E. Cheese turned into an overly expensive den of thieves and crappy sports sim games. I knew I’d love to play through The Simpsons again, and this time without wasting all my summer school lunch money. I wanted to see all the bosses again, mash buttons to blow up the head-shaped balloons, punch all those ugly yellow gits in the nose. But, for whatever reason, I didn’t download it right away. I thought to myself, “Self, you can pick this up later. You’ve got other games to play. You’ve played this one before. It’ll still be here next month and the month after that, and so on, blah blah blah…”
Today, it isn’t here anymore. They can keep the show on tv for twenty-seven seasons but they can’t keep the arcade game up for sale for more than a few years? I don’t know when it stopped being available for purchase. It just isn’t. The X-Men arcade game is nowhere to be found on PlayStation’s laggy, labyrinthine digital store. The worst part is, this game has disappeared for no reason that’s been made public, though it’s probably because of some lame legal reason like some crap expired or somebody didn’t like that somebody else called them a bad word. Stupid corporate America (Japan? It’s Konami).
Why can’t they just give people what they want? How angry am I? Angry enough to use my God-given First Amendment and blog about it! I wanted to do a review on this one someday, but it looks like I’ll be forced to be a little more creative than legitmately paying for a video game. I certainly won’t be dropping the $1.5k required for one of the original arcade cabinets. Thanks, Obama.
-The Well-Red Mage