I’m a simple Mage. I don’t ask for much. A little white, a little black. A cozy inn at which to hang up my cape. Unconditional love. Catching Pokémon for myself on Pokémon Go.
I’ve sat here for the past several hours
multitasking doing nothing and waiting to create my Trainer Club account! It’s no surprise that Pokémon Go has taken the mobile app world by proverbial storm, just as the original Pokémon Red/Blue did when it hit the world like an entertaining sledgehammer to the skull back in ’96. I remember the frenzy. I was eleven. Everyone at school brought their Game Boy, trading the digital monsters like cray cray.
I’m sure millions of copies of the original cartridges were sold, along with millions of Game Boys, but whereas getting your own Pokémon Red/Blue back in the day was as easy as going to the store or shopping online, today there’s a new problem with distribution and accessibility. There are too many people who want this game and even digitally they can’t meet the demand.
Stories circulated when Pokémon Go launched just three days ago on July 6th that there were crashes and server errors everywhere. Now I’ve got a webpage in front of me that says they’ve had to limit the amount of new accounts that can be created because of the sheer surge of people trying to get a piece of dat Pikachu. They ought to have seen this coming. I mean, this is Pokémon we’re talking about here. A cultural phenomenon. I’m not sure what’ll happen if I can’t catch ’em all soon, but I’m not ruling out arson just yet.
I don’t care if I trip and fall, stub my toe, or stumble across a dead body. I just want to catch some Pokémon. Is that too much to ask? Isn’t that innocent enough of a request? I just want to experience the magic too…
For be forewarned, O ye staff of Pokémon Go… if I do not get the chance to create my Trainer Club account and catch me some adorable, fictional animals soon, then you shall feel the sore and grievous wrath of my mighty pen.
I guess there’s nothing left but to wait and watch a 10 hour video of the Poké rap…
-The Well-Red Mage