Celebratory Post: 15k hits!

Happy August, NPCs!

So it’s been a cool minute since we laid down some cool beans like this. In intelligible language that means it’s been some time since we had a celebratory post for a milestone. I didn’t want to seem arrogant, I guess.

By the by, if you haven’t already, you really should get your own randomly generated Mage-name from our Magifying machine.

Anyway, it’s somewhat tedious to post a load of artwork every time we get 1,000 views. Besides, I don’t exactly want our blog homepage to be crowded with thumbnails for posts about artwork. This is a review blog at heart, gol’ darnit! And that’s why we’ll only be doing this for every 5,000 views henceforth and forthwith.

For anyone who’s curious, here’s a little transparency on our current state of affairs:

stats

There’s a bit of helpful tips for new bloggers which can be found here, if that’d be useful to anyone reading this. Write! Write! Write! Two ingredients for being a blogger are a butt and a chair. Put them together and write. Or lie on the floor and write. That’s comfy too.

On with the artwork… horrific artwork. Fans of horror unite because today we’re sharing some of the worst of the worst: the most terrible video game cover art in existence! Admittedly, some of these aren’t so bad. Some of them may in fact be badly awesome. But only by degrees, just like getting hit by a truck is only less bad by degrees as having all your skin removed.

Thanks for reading and supporting us as we continue to try shoving our footprint onto the internet!

Sincerely,
-The Well-Red Mage https://thewellredmage.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/rmage2.jpg?w=788

 

ed06ad447ce57784c0746940b6d9dacf-20-more-of-the-worst-videogame-covers-of-all-time

Pac Man?

eu_ironsword

Fabio?!

df85161096d4da2defc3fec59edf8c5a-20-more-of-the-worst-videogame-covers-of-all-time

Actually, I kinda feel sorry for this guy somehow…

df2e54c5776b775abc3ed78c7476e572-worst-covers-in-videogame-history

World’s biggest hunting dog.

scrapyard_dog-atari

Speaking of dogs, that is not one.

dd23ae18708094e7727813a74d3a1663-20-more-of-the-worst-videogame-covers-of-all-time

…Where’s the title?

worst-game-covers-14

Bad Cat wears his sunglasses at night.

Giana Sisters

Super. Mario. Brothers. Feminism.

Ico_north_american_cover

Noooooo! Not Ico too!

blood-and-guts

Whyyyyyy Em See Ay!

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Attack on Titan, or what happens when you take off your spacesuit in space.

1029170880-2cbb0df054e2c5ede0733f3ba8f1b9a0

Haha! Finally!

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What is this? Torture Porn? The cover art for the movie Cube? Nope. It’s the cover for a game about chibi dinosaurs launching candy-colored bubbles with their cute widdle arms.

2361722-nes_festersquest

Christopher Lloyd, what’d they do to you?!

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Developers Meeting: “So Swanson, whaddaya wanna name our new game?” *Swanson stubs his pinky toe*

superman returns xbox 360 cover

It’s terrible because it has the words “Superman Returns” printed on it.

stridercover

SEGA. The Louvre of terrible cover art.

ssf2t-amiga.jpg~original

Wait. Wat?

Snow White and 7 Clever Boys

Dodging copyright infringement like a boss. A freakishly disfigured boss.

rival-turf

From the music video for Michael Jackson’s “Beat it”…

c33b5a2e34640e23c63ab709537fcfb6-20-more-of-the-worst-videogame-covers-of-all-time

You ever get so swole you can’t put on a shirt? Or touch your face?

capa1

“Look! PlayStation! Isn’t it beautiful?”

Contra-Cover

Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Xenomorph.

d2caf2d531d90eff07a47e05f20cdae5-worst-covers-in-videogame-history

“Uhhrrr… Karh-nah-ahj!”

46737_front

Holy Heresy, Wisdom Tree! Metal speedo is unbiblical.

5825e81796d42b6a18e8433f2af106e4

“Bersberll… heuheuheu.”

1517

No words…

63fc238f2102239aa2134f4f0134bbf8

Signs SEGA was going belly up #1498: using graph paper for cover art.

13-Phalanx

Perfect for a space shooter. Thanks, Grandpa Billy Bob!

9b66e3cc98021d7973765f7dce49735c_original

Not even this existing will get Hillary indicted! Though it might just explain exactly why she won’t be…

72c2aac5af921ee3be4c59442687de39_original

So actually this is pretty dynamic and awesome, but definitely not true to its content. That “Mmmm” armband on “Mario”, tho.

Mega-Man-2-EU-Cover

Proof that some of the best games had some of the worst art.

And the most notorious bad video game cover art of all time

Mega-Man.jpg

#dontskiplegday

 

Any that we missed? Please don’t share with us in the comments below!

 

 

 

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32 thoughts on “Celebratory Post: 15k hits!

  1. Congrats! Wow though, I immediately went on Amazon to see if I could purchase that Snow White game. Sadly it seems like it never made it to America, but I love purchasing “bad” games so I can rant about them in my reviews xD. A lot of “great” covers there for sure. Good job on finding them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Congratulations on 15k Mages! Keep up the excellent work! For some reason, my last comment didn’t seem to post, so I’m sorry if your inbox suddenly gets multiples of my congratulatory messages!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Many congrats on your success! I can only hope to follow in those footsteps. And despite my name, I acknowledge the superior evil of whosoever approved of these box art designs. I may be and Evil Wizard, but Marketing Execs are Eldritch Abominations!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. HA! Iron Sword = Awesomeness (how could it not, with Fabio on the cover!). Phalanx was a fun shooter back in the day. Festers Quest = Great and fun game! And that Mega Man box art, though! I still remember seeing that thing when it came out. Did not want! What a gem, though, behind an ugly, ugly façade!

    Congrats!

    Liked by 1 person

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